


Painting Flowers

by o_n_off



Series: *epic guitar solo* onf aus [2]
Category: ONF (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Artist Changyoon, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love Letters, M/M, Writer Minkyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 22:41:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17969414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o_n_off/pseuds/o_n_off
Summary: Dear Park Minkyun,You ate ice cream with a fork today. I don't think we can continue with this relationship.Love,Lee Changyoon





	Painting Flowers

**Author's Note:**

> instead of updating toska i wrote this  
> i just really wanted to write some kyunyoon because i love them

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

I love you. 

 

I freaking adore you. We moved into our new house today. There are boxes stacked to the ceiling and my entire body aches, but you still smile ever so radiantly. My own personal ray of sunshine that glimmers and shines even when skies are grey.

 

I don't know where half of the cutlery is, nor do I know where the clean sheets are. But I know that you're here with me. This is our home now. We can get all of the pets you dreamed of having but we couldn't because landlords are the scum of the earth. We can paint the walls with rainbows and smiles if we so desire. 

 

The best part about buying a three-bedroom house is that we both have our own spaces. I can set up an art studio while you make your cosy little office for writing about fantasy worlds. I've always admired your ability with words, which is why I'm writing these letters. I'm not very good at being creative or intricate with my words, so I'm going to tell you about the life we lead together. 

 

I'll give this to you on our wedding day as a gift for the man I love the most. I don't know when that is, but I will write until that day comes and we will be able to reflect on the times we shared as well as how whipped I am for you. 

 

I'm a hopeless romantic; you have to accept that since we now own a house together. What more is a notebook full of sappy, poorly-written memoirs of our lives since moving into our home. 

 

Love,  
Lee Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

You ate ice cream with a fork today. I don't think we can continue with this relationship.

 

And still, your hand is in mine as you complain about characters in a soap-opera and every time you whine in defeat I feel myself falling in love with you again and again.

 

I guess our inability to find the cutlery serves as a valid excuse to use a plastic fork to eat ice cream. But you're on thin ice, you dork.

 

Love,  
Lee Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

Today you whirled into my studio, hair in a mess atop your head as your wildly declared that I should paint the wall in our living room with flowers. You scared the customer I was consulting, but your vibrant energy just made me smile.

 

I sat down and began sketching the layout of the flowers as you smiled brightly at me. I hope you like the finished product. 

 

If I could fall deeper in love with you than I am, it would have happened today.

 

Love,  
Lee Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

You came thundering into the apartment like a tornado with your arms full of yellow paints. They're not even the cheap ones, you've really outdone yourself this time.

 

Saffron, lemon, Tuscan sun, cadmium yellow, gold, mustard, amber, honey, butterscotch, bumblebee, pineapple. I feel like you confused the cashier at the art shop by buying every shade of yellow you could get your hands on.

 

But you smiled so brightly that the paints looked dull.

 

Love,  
Lee Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

Today I began sketching in the flowers with yellow chalk. It fits the colour scheme. 

 

You loudly played your trash music the entire time but the joy in your face as you sang along and danced with no sense of grace or elegance, I found myself enjoying the display too much to tell you to turn it down. 

 

You owe me cuddles though.

 

Love,  
Lee Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

Your parents arrived on our doorstep this afternoon without warning while I was painting. They threw open the door to see us pressed together in a heated kiss, lemon yellow paint in your hair and my tongue on the inside of your teeth.

 

It was very embarrassing when your father cleared his throat, and we stumbled apart. Your face was as red as a tomato, but my entire back got covered in paint when I fell back against the wall. 

 

Your mother thought it was hilarious, stifling a laugh behind her hand. But your father's expression remained dark and expressionless. I don't think he likes me very much. 

 

He liked my cooking though. I'm counting this as a win.

 

Love,  
Lee Changyoon

 

PS  
There's still paint in your hair. It's cute though. Like you. 

 

🌻

 

Dear newly-appointed dog father,

 

We got a dog today. Her name is Rose, and she's the loveliest girl in the world. She's an English cocker spaniel according to the shelter we got her from, and you adore her. Right now you are sleeping on the couch, and she's draped across your lap and sharing your dreams. You're the writer; you'd describe her fur as honey-dipped sunshine under the soft light of dawn. To me, she is the colour of how I feel when you smile. 

 

Her fur is soft, and her collar is sparkly and pink. We took her to the park immediately upon adopting her, and you tucked daisies into her golden coat as if she were Rapunzel. You always liked to watch Tangled late at night with a bowl of popcorn and assorted chocolates. 

 

Rose is a very friendly dog when it comes to people, but she wasn't very fond of the other dogs we walked past. I've never seen a dog frozen and shaking at the sight of a puppy no bigger than the size of my palm. She is our daughter, and I have full intentions of spoiling her rotten. 

 

Love,  
Fellow newly-appointed dog dad

 

🌻

 

Dear my love,

 

If we were traditional, we would've gotten married before having our beautiful wet-nosed, tail-wagging daughter. But we're so far from traditional. Today you proposed to me, and I said yes. I didn't need to stop and think; I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

 

But technically it's not sex before marriage to have a dog daughter. Don't tell your parents about how we broke that "rule" anyway. I don't think your dad needs another reason to dislike me. 

 

The ring around my finger feels like a small hug as it fits securely there as a physical reminder of your love for me. I do not need a reminder for how much I love you, and this notebook will be your reminder of how much I love you. 

 

Love,  
Your Fiancé

 

🌻

 

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

There is an assortment of yellow flowers covering about half of our wall at this point. Your eyes sparkle when you look at it, and when I see the amazement in your eyes, I wonder how I can marry you faster. 

 

You bought Rose a white harness that is covered in a sunflower print today. You insisted that you thought it was cute, but I think you like sunflowers because you are the sun. You bring light and warmth into my life, and I'm ready for forever with you.

 

Sometimes I wonder how I could have ever lived without you in my life. We fall into place like puzzle pieces, and I don't know how I could live a life without you by my side. 

 

Love,  
Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

We had our engagement party tonight.

 

Your best friend, Seungjoon, brought us a box full of sex toys. You scolded him for being immature, but you have to admit that it was funny to see your face get so red.

 

We drank a lot of champagne, and you took to the karaoke stage to sing me a Shawn Mendes song. You're terribly fond of his music. It was embarrassing but also entertaining.

 

I can't wait to marry you.

 

Love,  
Lee Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

We perhaps spent far too long deciding on what to buy for Rose to wear to the wedding. We ordered seven different little doggy dresses plus formal collars and leads for the special day. We're going to have a little fashion show when they arrive in the post. 

 

We are genuinely dog-tragic and very obsessed with our little princess. But it's not as if she doesn't deserve all the love in the world.

 

Who needs a human child when we could spoil Rose absolutely rotten? We don't have to pay for school fees, and she's incredibly well-behaved compared to a small child.

 

Love,  
Lee Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

Where are you? 

 

I waited up all night, but you never came home. I hope you just stayed late at Seungjoon's house and decided to sleep there instead of driving home in the storm. 

 

Get home safe. I love you.

 

Love,  
Lee Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

It's been two days, and you haven't answered any of my calls.

 

Kind regards,  
Lee Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

I guess I can't expect you to reply to words on a piece of paper that has only been seen by me. I hope you come home soon.

 

Love,  
Lee Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

The world is cold today. 

 

🌻

 

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

I buried you today.

 

Closed Casket.

 

The doctors said you died quickly and that it wouldn't have hurt at all, but it hurts here in the living world. I saw your family at the wake. Your mother cried for you, and your father's usually stoic expression was desolate. 

 

At least I think that's how you would have described it. I'm an artist I prefer to create with paints and canvas yet you paint such pretty pictures with only words. I miss you.

 

I know your dad was never much of a fan of mine. You always said it was because he didn't approve of you being gay. Today he wrapped his arms around me and tried to hold me together as I fell apart. I probably ruined his jacket with tears like I am ruining these pages.

 

People buzzed about, repeating condolences like broken records. The sun didn't shine today. I don't think it ever will. 

 

A star the size of our sun would burn Hydrogen into Helium through nuclear fusion for billions of years until it ran out of Hydrogen to burn. Then its core would heat up in order to convert Helium into heavier elements like Carbon, Nitrogen and Oxygen. Because of this, its equilibrium of forces, the pull of gravity and the outward pressure caused by the fusion would be thrown off. So the outer layers of the sun would expand and cool to a shade of red as it consumed Mercury, Venus and perhaps even Earth to form a Red Giant. At this point, we would all be dead. When the sun then ran out of Helium, it wouldn't be big enough to further fuse elements. At this point, the outer layers of the sun would part from the small, dense core of the sun to form a planetary nebula. The core becomes a white dwarf that will radiate energy that it has accumulated throughout its lifetime until eventually becoming a dull, cold husk.

 

That's how scientists theorised the death of the sun.

 

But they were wrong because a stormy night and slippery roads were what killed the sun. 

 

Please come home.

 

Love,  
Lee Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Sunshine,

 

Where did you go? 

 

The world is so dark without you. I've been shivering for days without your warmth.

 

Come home,  
Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Sunshine,

 

I don't think I'll ever forget picking up the phone to the call from the hospital. I all but ran there, into the pristine and suffocatingly orderly corridors. They'd finally identified you. 

 

You were in the cold morgue for days that I spent in the warmth of our home.

 

Your parents showed up. So did Seungjoon. 

 

We all cried for you. I've never seen three people so torn, and I'm sure they'd never seen someone as much of a wreck as I was as I held your cold, stiff fingers in a death grip. 

 

Seungjoon held me when my knees gave out, and the room spun from how much I cried. 

 

He's very nice to me although we are still strangers.

 

Somehow, Rose knew when I got home. She wailed and whined and wiggled her way under my arm. At least I still have her. 

 

Come home,  
Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Sunshine,

 

Some fans of your books held a vigil in town today. I saw it while I was walking Rose along our usual route. They had candles and flowers and pictures of you smiling. I didn't mask my tears very well, and now Rose is following my every step.

 

The world misses you. Rose misses you. I miss you.

 

Come home,  
Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Sunshine,

 

Seungjoon came to see me today. He brought me some food, and we watched cartoons together. I don't know him very well, but I know that he cares about you a lot.

 

He told me about what you were like in high school. He said that you were tall and scrawny like a beanpole with clothes that never seemed to fit you properly. That's not too different to now, you're still tall and lanky, but when I hug you, we fit together comfortably.

 

Seungjoon also told me about how you liked a guy on the basketball team so much that you would turn red at the sight of him in the corridors. And also that when you confessed to him he punched you in the face, and it took bribery on Seungjoon's part to get you to return to school. I believe it was along the lines of a fuckton of chocolate bars? 

 

He also suggested I see a therapist to cope with not having you around. I think I'll do it. 

 

I miss you a lot.

 

Come home,  
Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Sunshine,

 

I ran out of cadmium yellow this morning. I hope a buttercup in Tuscan sun is okay. You'll tell me off when you get home, won't you? 

 

I'll buy some more cadmium yellow paint when I'm out next.

 

Come home,  
Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Sunshine,

 

I dreamt of you last night. 

 

I dreamt of your soft hands and the warmth of our fingers entwined. I miss you lying next to me in bed. Rose cuddles with me, but it's cold without you.

 

Come home,  
Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Dear Sunshine,

 

Rose keeps crying at night. Sharp whines in the dead of night as she paces around the house. I think she's looking for you. I think she misses you a lot. I do too.

 

Come home,  
Changyoon

 

🌻

 

Sunshine

 

Sometimes our house doesn't feel like home because you're not here. 

 

Come home

 

🌻

 

Sunshine

 

My therapist says I need to move on. He doesn't believe that you're coming home.

 

I tried to tell him that he's wrong, but he just prescribed more pills that I hate. I can never seem to bring myself to take them.

 

Come home

 

🌻

 

Sunshine

 

I don't think Rose is very well. She hasn't eaten in a few days and growls when I try to pat her. I'm going to take her to the vet soon.

 

🌻

 

Sunshine

 

My therapist says that I should try and maintain social relationships. He also thinks that this notebook may be a bad idea. I think he is wrong because I'll give this to you on our wedding day and you'll read it, and we'll laugh at him.

 

🌻

 

I took Rose to the vet today. She's dying, Kyun. Kidney failure. We caught it too late. It feels like everything I love is falling away from me and when I try to hold on tighter, it all just falls faster.

 

Please, come home.

 

🌻

 

I haven't been able to paint. Not since you left.

 

🌻

 

It's been a week since I last wrote to you, my love. 

 

Rose was put down today. I cried a lot. I think you would have too. But now she's with you, at least. She always liked you more.

 

🌻

 

Seungjoon came over today. I think he's worried about me. He kept trying to get me to eat or go to a doctor. I try to tell him that I'm fine, but he doesn't listen. 

 

He still left some food in the kitchen for me though. He's very kind.

 

🌻

 

I went to take Rose for a walk today, but I forgot that she's not here anymore.

 

I cried again. I cried a lot. 

 

Is it normal to cry this much? 

 

🌻

 

I can't remember how to feel. Help me, Kyun.

 

🌻

 

I'm still painting flowers for you.

 

🌻

 

I yelled at Seungjoon when he came to check up on me. I don't think he's coming back anymore. I'm sorry for yelling at him; I know he's your friend.

 

🌻

 

Help

 

🌻

 

It hurts

 

🌻

 

I'm running out of space on the wall for flowers.

 

🌻

 

I miss Seungjoon. The house is too quiet without you and Rose. If there is a life beyond death, I hope you are together and happy.

 

🌻

 

The emptiness is so painful. Who knew nothingness could hurt so bad?

 

🌻

 

I keep dreaming that you and Rose are still here. That nothing terrible has happened. Life is normal. You're whining about writing transition sentences and about how frustrating dialogue is, Rose is trying to steal ingredients off of the bench while I'm cooking. It's familiar. It's warm. 

 

Then I wake up. The dream isn't done, and all I have is the cold emptiness of grief. 

 

It's so cold. 

 

I miss you.

 

🌻

 

It's so quiet. The only noise is cars driving past occasionally. 

 

🌻

 

It hurts. Living hurts. 

 

🌻

 

Every breath I take is exhausting. Help me, Kyun. I don't know what to do without you.

 

🌻

 

Dear Park Minkyun,

 

The sun shone today. I'm going to see you very soon. I was scared of death, but now I just relish in the idea of holding you in my arms again.

 

If there is a life beyond death, I hope to hold your hand as we walk with Rose through the park. I've missed you both a lot.

 

I want to see your face and know I made it home.

 

Yours sincerely,  
Lee Changyoon

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry  
> i wrote this in like 7 hours without properly editing it so rip   
> also this is based off of painting flowers by all time low because it was like 2am and it made me very sad


End file.
